Where do Harmful Habits Come From?
Most of our Harmful Habits are left over (or still pretty fresh) coping mechanisms from when we experience stage fright. When our body gives us enough energy to flee from a tiger, but all we have to do is stand up and speak; all that adrenaline has to go somewhere.
What are Harmful Habits?
Do you know what information your voice and body are broadcasting?
When what you say (conscious choice) and how you say it (subconscious habits) are out of alignment, your audience will notice. It can undermine your relationship with them because they know something is wrong but they can't quite tell what...
Our job is to line up your words with all the million little messages that you as speaker are broadcasting subconsciously through your vocal tone and body language.
That is what I call Message Cohesion!
Habit #1 - Hiding Harry
Habit #2 - Shifting Sam
Habit #3 - Aggressive Annie
Habit #4 - Quiet Quentin
Habit #5 - Pleasing Patricia
Habits #6 & #7 - Fried Fred & Speedy Sally
Self Analysis Time!
It's time to put this awareness to work!
STEP ONE:
Record yourself speaking. It doesn't have to be fancy; you can just prop your phone up on a shelf, but do your best to get your entire body in frame.
(If you don't know what to say, scroll down, I've made a list of talking points to help you get your creative juices flowing.)
STEP TWO:
Watch the video and, using the 7 Harmful Habits characters, determine your primary and secondary harmful habit. Which ones show up the strongest from WATCHING the video vs your internal experience?
STEP THREE:
Now record yourself practicing the HEALTHY habits suggested in the videos. Ideally speak on the same topic. You won't use exactly the same words - and that's fine - but reusing the same topic will help you focus on delivery more than content.
PLEASE NOTE: Going against your habitual behaviour is going to feel strange. It's out of your comfort zone. Your brain is going to justify this feeling by telling you that you look ridiculous or that what you're doing is unrealistic. Put that aside and commit to the healthy habit as hard as you can - go big! Have the courage to look ridiculous. Test your boundaries. Challenge yourself to exceed them!
It's just an experiment.
You can always return to your safe bad habits later if that's what you really want.
STEP FOUR:
Post your two videos side by side on our private Facebook group. Let us know if you had any insights and whether you'd like some feedback or encouragement from Danielle.
STEP ONE:
Record yourself speaking. It doesn't have to be fancy; you can just prop your phone up on a shelf, but do your best to get your entire body in frame.
(If you don't know what to say, scroll down, I've made a list of talking points to help you get your creative juices flowing.)
STEP TWO:
Watch the video and, using the 7 Harmful Habits characters, determine your primary and secondary harmful habit. Which ones show up the strongest from WATCHING the video vs your internal experience?
STEP THREE:
Now record yourself practicing the HEALTHY habits suggested in the videos. Ideally speak on the same topic. You won't use exactly the same words - and that's fine - but reusing the same topic will help you focus on delivery more than content.
PLEASE NOTE: Going against your habitual behaviour is going to feel strange. It's out of your comfort zone. Your brain is going to justify this feeling by telling you that you look ridiculous or that what you're doing is unrealistic. Put that aside and commit to the healthy habit as hard as you can - go big! Have the courage to look ridiculous. Test your boundaries. Challenge yourself to exceed them!
It's just an experiment.
You can always return to your safe bad habits later if that's what you really want.
STEP FOUR:
Post your two videos side by side on our private Facebook group. Let us know if you had any insights and whether you'd like some feedback or encouragement from Danielle.
Some Helpful Resources... |
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Here's the alignment checklist that I reference in Shifting Sam and Pleasing Patricia.
Need a speaking topic for your video? Try one of these...
If you have something you'd rather talk about, feel free to make up your own topic. Don't plan, don't overthink it - just answer the question. We're not overly concerned with WHAT you say at the moment; we're working on HOW you say it.
- What was one of your favourite holiday memories, and why?
- How did you come to choose your career?
- How did you meet your significant other / your best friend?
- What is the most important thing on your bucket list?
- What does your daily routine look like?
- What is one thing you really regret?
- Who is someone you look up to? Or look to for inspiration?
- What is your favourite hobby?
If you have something you'd rather talk about, feel free to make up your own topic. Don't plan, don't overthink it - just answer the question. We're not overly concerned with WHAT you say at the moment; we're working on HOW you say it.
***This 7 Harmful Habits Mini Training has been taken from a module in my Premium Training Unleash Your Voice, which is available in my Speakers Training Membership Portal.