What I Learned from Hosting my first Three Day Event

Last week I hosted my first online three day event. I’ve hosted multi day events before. In person. Pre-Covid. This was a completely different experience.

I knew it was going to be a lot of work - and it was - but despite my obsessing for MONTHS trying to think of everything, there were still so many surprises.

It's not a joke that public speaking and running a business are two of the most effective tools for personal growth. Wow has this been challenging! And life affirming. And I can't wait to do it again once I can get myself out of the foetal position.
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For those of you who might be thinking of hosting your own events, here’s what I’ve learned…

​1) Something will always go wrong, so think about what your approach will be when it does
I’m lucky, my coaching style is pretty informal, so when something goes wrong I can usually just chat about it as we try to fix it. I'm very transparent, I don't pretend to have it all together. I make a joke, maybe turn it into a teaching moment, we move on. This works for me.

​If you don't want people to know what's going on behind the scenes you might need an emcee or extra help on the back end so you're less involved in the running of things and less "front and centre" when they go sideways.

Either way, always have a backup plan. Sometimes the tech is going to fail. Do you have PDF backups of your Powerpoint presentation so instead of making everyone watch you fight with presenter view for 10 minutes, you can switch to the PDF and share that screen? Do you have filler content for when you're suddenly unexpectedly under time? Do you know what to cut out if you go over time? What if no-one participates? What if a guest doesn’t show? (Luckily all my guests were on time and wonderful)

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What if you start on time but all the participants (but one) are late back from the break? Do you plough through your material no matter who is watching (or not), do you do something unique and unplanned with the only person on the call? Do you make them feel insignificant and unvalued by waiting for everyone else to show?

2) Have a team, not just one assistant.
I knew it was going to be a long day and I had two calls going simultaneously so I had 3 assistants, which initially felt like overkill, and there were definitely times where there wasn't much for any of them to do.

But it also meant that no matter how busy things were, there was always someone to troubleshoot. When one assistant had an issue with Zoom another assistant was available to help them out AND I still had someone in the room with me. One got sick, another stepped up. We were all on a group chat through WhatsApp and it felt amazing to know that no matter what else was going on, I always had someone paying attention to me should I need anything in the moment. They were total lifesavers. Do NOT try to do this on your own.

3) Consider having a second call for "backstage"
My support team was on a different Zoom call because I wanted folks to check in before getting to Main Stage. This also meant there was a private space for people to sort out tech issues and for my speakers to do sound check etc. I'd seen this in events I'd been a participant of and I really liked it.

A second call isn't necessary for a smaller event, but as soon as you have multiple speakers or anything like that it allows the Main Stage to be one continuous call, which I found really useful for recording and getting people back after breaks, that sort of thing.

4) Movie Magic
I was working around the clock for weeks to make this event happen. I had dirty laundry all over the floor and empty energy drink cans all over my desk. It was an obstacle course to get to my computer each day. And while I did realize only after the fact that my lighting wasn’t as good as it should have been, my frame was clean. No one could see my messy work space. It wasn’t the perfect film studio, but an empty wall, light on your face, and a wireless headset are all you need in a pinch.

5) It’s lonely
I’ve done many online speaking engagements. For an hour or two. Three days of just me and my computer was tough. It helps having a team to support you. It helps when participants are engaged with their camera on, but even then the real human connection just isn’t there.

There’s no calming transition time when you’re putting away the chairs. No one to go for drinks with afterwards. There’s a bunch of people on the call with you then BAM you’re all alone with your computer ticking away rendering the video. I found that sudden silence at the end of the day more emotionally difficult than I was expecting. Next time I'll have something planned to help with the "come down".

6) Don’t make promises you don’t want to keep
I made two promises for this event that I regretted. I said I’d never pick on anyone to speak, or to turn their camera on. My thinking was this would make people feel more safe and empowered to interact on their own terms. I know personally I hate being bullied into participation.

But in person there is a certain amount of low level peer pressure that just doesn’t exist on Zoom. In person I don't need to bully anyone, I just create an encouraging atmosphere and let folks push themselves. On Zoom it’s too easy to commit to hiding. 

By trying to make the shy folks feel safe I created an atmosphere that was less safe for those who were determined to participate. And WAY more challenging for me. My good intentions created 2 other problems. Next time I make the opposite promise.

​7) You find your groove
One of the coolest things about speaking for an extended period is that any facade of perfection or togetherness or whatever you put on to start with, wears off pretty fast. Then you’re left with your natural self. Which is awesome!

The more you can speed through (or totally skip) the facade business, the better. It’s natural to want to impress people. It’s human to put your best foot forward. But speak for 3 days in a row and your true self will inevitably take over. No-one has the energy to pretend for that long.

When you give in to that it can be so freeing. And an extra gift of the replay is you can watch yourself back. Compare yourself first thing on Day One to after lunch on Day Two and with any time on Day Three. Your shoulders release, you demeanour opens up. Personally, I find real freedom in the surrender. And it makes the next point even more important.

8) You contain multitudes (AKA) I need to grow into myself
I’ve gotten complacent. I’ve spent so much time with my "Coach Hat" on in the last few years that even when I’m speaking I’m usually in "Coach Mode" and not in "Speaker Mode."

But the thing about speaking, and especially about running events, is that in order to create a full journey for the audience, different moments require different parts of me to show up.

Being too comfortable in my default "Coach Mode" meant that I was unable to seamlessly shift across the different parts of my personality as needed. This is not about being different people, it’s about allowing yourself to adapt to context in a way that is authentic and integrated.

Over the past few years I've been very conscious of bringing disparate parts of myself together and reconciling rifts and contradictions, but it’s been very internal.

It’s time to bring some of that work out into the light. I want to spend more time in "Speaker Mode" and "Storyteller Mode" and "Message Sharer Mode".

It’s time to find myself onstage. ;)