Finding your voice when you're in overwhelm....

​Some days I just feel so overwhelmed

I have so many projects on the go. So many emails to respond to... Everything was due last week and I also worry that I'm doing too much "busy-work" you know?

𝗔𝗺 𝗜 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗳𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗹𝗲? Sometimes when I'm in it, it's hard to tell.

And it's at times like this that I really want to cut corners on my health, my practice, my connection to who I am.

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I just wanna get stuff DONE! Catch UP! 𝗕𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝘅𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻'𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗙𝗙𝗦!

And maybe they won't. Today. But I have to learn to look after this human body and soul otherwise I'll NEVER get to where I want to be.

Like so many wise people have said before me, 𝘄𝗲'𝗿𝗲 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗕𝗘𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗗𝗢𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦.

So while it would feel AMAzing to be on top of my todo list.

And while I am SO tempted to just pull an all-nighter! (𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘸 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐'𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 20𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘳𝘶𝘨 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘯𝘰 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱)

I also need to nurture this human that is so anxious about getting things done.

And it's at times like this that I remember why I do what I do in the first place.

I didn't get into voice work because I wanted to be a public speaker, or do a TED Talk. 𝗔𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴.

And at the time I felt so divorced from my body, from the way I moved through the world, from the way I expressed myself.

I felt suffocated. I was depressed. I was lonely. I had no idea what I wanted from life or how to fix it.

I was SO unconnected to who I was and what I wanted to be/do in the world.

𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲. For the first time. It gave me certainty. It helped me figure out who I was.

I clung to those exercises. To the touch of sound and the resonance scales and the impulse work. I followed it all inwards.

And I found myself.

I came home to my body, to my voice, to expressing myself in a way that felt good to me and that I could be proud of even if no-one else ever understood me!

𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝗱𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁. That no amount of work is worth sacrificing that connection. Emails will wait, I'll get through that long list of todo's eventually.

And maybe, if I keep following that thread inward, 𝗺𝗮𝘆𝗯𝗲 𝗜'𝗹𝗹 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗮 𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴. One that doesn't require quite this much doing.

​In the meantime, I'm going to breathe and make sound and sing and cry and speak aloud and come home to myself. And I'll go from there.